The Shoe Squeak must come at one time or another for every pair of loafers, pumps or trainers. Why it must happen, no one knows, what causes it is a mystery and a cure has still not been found. All we know is that it’s an affliction of the soul, sorry, sole that cannot be fixed.
That fateful day has finally come. You knew it would come eventually but not now. It’s too soon, so unexpected!
You thought you must be wrong at first but, alas, you weren’t. Today was the day it happened and it’s made you an outcast!
People judge you wherever you go. You can’t go to libraries, or be seen in museums, and don’t even think about going to an art gallery! People in cafe’s shake their heads as you pass, people in supermarkets move away from you in every aisle and even your friends try to keep their distance.
You saved up for those brand new slick sneakers, those marvelous moccasins or that funky flats and it was all over before you knew it. You’re reluctant to let go, you don’t want to settle for your second favourite pair. You’ve been living the high life for too long to go back now! But maybe that’s how this travesty happened in the first place…
So, you try walking with a bit of a limp, putting less pressure on the weaker shoe. This only draws more attention to you though. Now, not only is the squeaking infrequent, you’re also that person with a funny walk and the shifty, nervous eyes.
Then you try jumping really hard on the shoe to ‘wind’ it but that just makes it wheeze when you walk. You feel like people know what you’ve done. It’s like the squeak is desperately saying: ‘Let me go. Just go on without me!’
You say: “No! You know I can’t do that Lefty” (because it’s always the lefty) “You know society won’t accept odd shoes!”
(We can only hope that one day it will happen. It happened for socks so surely it can happen for shoes too.)
Finally, you try to wash the shoes. You’re almost certain that it won’t work but there’s only so many things left to try.
Alas, it’s fatal. Lefty doesn’t make it, or even worse, Righty doesn’t make it either!
But stay strong shoe squeakers…
Winter Christmas is coming!
There might be a new pair for you round the corner.
However, don’t get your hopes up, it’s probably only socks with Santa/reindeers/penguins on or really cheap wellies.