2015 Nosolutions

I had hopes of my first post of 2015 being an inspirational, upbeat blog that would whip the masses into a frenzy of productivity! As it happens, I’ve slept through the majority of the year so far and have done very little other than watch Gotham, play Snake 2 (bring that back!) and ask for snacks to be brought to me in bed. I don’t have any crazy new year’s eve stories to share either so don’t get your hopes up. Instead, I got a virus just in time for the celebrations and vomited through the midnight countdown as well as the following 24 hours – yippee! As thrilling that was, it would feel like cheating to write about productivity and inspiration now. So, instead I’m going to write about the things that I’m not going to do in 2015. I’ve coined the term ‘Nosolutions’ which is ‘not resolutions’ if that wasn’t already really obvious, duh.

Anyway, here they are:

1. Don’t let technology beat me!
I have been foiled by televisions, iPads, Kindles and even little old MP3 players. 2015 is the year I overcome my technophobia. I don’t know how yet but it’s going to happen.

2. Wear no layers
It’s about time I paid tribute to my Northern roots. I’m always moaning about being cold and layering up in a billion(ish) jumpers which is an insult to many Lioners. So, I’m going to build up my immune system, kick off those layers and train myself to face the cold, hopefully all without getting hypothermia.

3. Don’t get lost
AtoB
I have a terrible, TERRIBLE sense of direction. I intend to find whatever solution there is to this problem, even if I have to resort to being a guinea pig to the first human tracking chip and being manually given directions via ear piece. (Don’t even say Google maps, we DO NOT get on.) Failing that I’d like to get the word ‘Directslexia’ recognised as a real condition.

4. Don’t finish my book
Yes, you read right, I will not finish writing my book. I’ve been saying I’m going to finish it for the last year now and it still isn’t done so I’m going to try the next logical step which is saying I’m not going to finish. I can only assume that’s where I’ve been going wrong all this time and that this is sure to work. Solid logic!

5. Stop saying no (as much)
‘No’ really is my favourite word. However, I’m going travelling in three days so it’s time for a change! I can’t guarantee I’ll bungee jump or taste the worlds hottest chilli but I might at least venture as far as holding a small snake or trying a very fishy curry…

6. Do NOT drink Tequila

g
Nuff said.

I’d like to point out that I did realise half way through writing this post that the term ‘resolutions’ actually includes things you intend in not doing. However, I couldn’t bring myself to throw away a half-decent blog and some perfectly good clip art!

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