20 Things I Do When I’m Home Alone

1. Assume that every creak is a murderer hiding in my house.

2. Check every cupboard and gap for intruders.

3. Put on the kettle and then never actually make a hot drink.
It’s not the same when you’re not sharing a cuppa.

4. Organise all the dirty pots and pans.
But not actually wash them.

5. Close the curtains and dance freely.

6. Sit still for a really long time.
Mainly thinking that there must be something better I can do with a free apartment.

7. Play my current favourite song over and over and over again.
No one can stop me! (Soz neighbours.)

8. Get in my PJ’s.
No matter what time of day.

9. Sit in a different space on the sofa.

10. Watch all the programs my housemates would veto.

11. Call/text/Skype someone.
The novelty of being alone wears off pretty quick.

12. Do a couple of sit-ups.
Then promptly give up.

13. Take up a new hobby.
Usually something musical, crafty or balance related.

14. YouTube karaoke.

15. Try on all my clothes.

16. Cook up a storm.
Hello pastaaa!

17. Put my housemates mess in their rooms/chairs.

18. Return the mess to where it was as I decide it could start a war.

19. Weep over soppy videos.

20. Get really bored, really quickly.
Someone please come home!


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