You don’t know me yet but in the future you’re going to be my publisher. I’d like to, firstly, congratulate you (lucky thing). Secondly, I’d like to sincerely apologise for all the hassle and drama I’m going to cause you.
And thirdly, I’d like to thank you for taking a risk on a new, (hopefully still) young writer. I’m going to go through all the things you can expect so that you don’t give up on me half way through the whole
In the beginning, I’m going to have pinned literally all my hopes of success on you. I will rely on you on a daily basis; professionally, emotionally and just plain generally. I’m going to be over-enthusiastic about our whole relationship, I’m going to want to impress you all the time, and I’m going to harass you with many, many emails. Sorry about that. There will be arguments, tears and a few days of ignoring each other (you ignoring me, mainly) but things will get better!
Eventually, I’ll start to find my own feet, gain just the right amount of confidence, and tread the balance between keeping contact and suffocation. Beware though, with confidence comes some really bad decision-making. I will undoubtably get super confident, super quickly. I’ll start trying to do my own PR (stop me, please). I’ll also neglect my writing work and get carried away with ‘networking’ and ‘social media’ (forgive me). And, I’ll start bragging about having a publisher and other fancy-sounding things (be assured, I hate me too at this point). I give you permission to knock some sense into me immediately – this could get out of hand! I recommend small-scale public embarrassment or some stern words in your office.
If you manage to get through all of that, congratulations! We’re going to start working together like a celebrity power couple, I’ll concentrate on my writing, and I’ll let you do your job properly. I’ll take some of your advice, but not enough for it to get boring. I can’t tell you much more than that, all I know is that this will all be worth it, I promise!
Yours thankfully, needily, lovingly,