‘Things are going really well!’ (And other lies we tell our relatives)

I have a kind of code that I sometimes speak to my family with. It’s generally used when we’re discussing the bigger issues in life; careers, relationships, money, religion, etc. I also find I use the ‘code’ more often when I’m speaking to older relatives who have an entirely different world view than I do. The intention of the ‘code’ is partly to be kind to my faint-hearted relatives and partly to selfishly save face! See if you use any of these too…

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Things are going really well!
Translation: Disaster, so many disasters. But I refuse to ask for help! I am an independent woman.
(Click, click, click)

It’s an investment.
Translation: I just splashed out on something really expensive and useless. Woohoo!

What do you think?
Translation: Tell me what you think so I can twist it into something I agree with.
Alternatively I may just sulk over your criticism for a few days.

I’m really missing home.
Translation: I’m never coming back hooooome!

I’m just going with the flow at the moment.
Translation: I don’t know what I’m doing, stop asking me!

I’m not really focusing on that right now.
Translation: That is all I’m ever thinking about at all times. I’m just trying to pretend that I’m not.

Maybe in the future.
Translation: How can I politely say; I will never do that.

Maybe when I’m older.
Translation: I will be young forever! [Heaps of hidden denial] So, whatever we’re talking about will never happen.

Well, things are a bit different now.
Translation: You’re too old to understand!

I’m just going to save up a bit of money first.
Translation: I’m massively in debt.

We’re just good friends.
Translation: We have adult sleepovers all the time, teeheehee.

I know what you mean but…
Translation: I disgree so strongly that smoke is coming out of my ears.

That was a long time ago now.
Translation: Jeez, stop bringing that up!

Never.
Eg. I never drink too much.
Translation: Sometimes.

Always.
Eg. I always pay the bills on time.
Translation: Sometimes.

Sometimes.
Eg. I sometimes go to the gym. / I sometime get take-away food.
Translation: Never. / Always.

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10 thoughts on “‘Things are going really well!’ (And other lies we tell our relatives)

  1. Families are funny. Many of these I use myself, especially the one, Maybe when I’m older. I am hopelessly in denial that I will ever age, in any way whatsoever!! Grateful for the humor today! Thanks.

  2. SO MANY. I find myself using so many of these. Particularly “everything’s fine,” “going with the flow,” “that was a long time ago,” “I know what you mean but…” and “sometimes.”

    As in, I only drink by myself at home sometimes.

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